Noooooooo-vember!!!

I know what you’re thinking.

My first reaction was "WTF!" too. And no, this is not a joke.

This is actually the first image of Robert Pattison (aka Edward Cullen aka Cedric Diggory) playing a young Salvador Dali in the up and coming biopic Little Ashes. The film itself concentrates on the early life and loves of Dali, filmmaker Luis Bunuel and writer Federico García Lorca after they met at university in Madrid. Honestly the movie sounds great and no doubt this role is a step forward for Pattison boosting his reputation as a serious character actor. BUT WTF! The producers and director of Dali must be crazier than Sarah Palin playing Grand Theft Auto to have let this costuming decision through. We’re not asking Pattison to get all Renee Zellweger on us and stuff himself with donuts for three months to play a role but at least try and make it semi-realistic people! Yeah, okay, Dali was known for his avant-garde facial hair but this moustache looks so fake I think I could have done a better job drawing it on in Microsoft paint. That being said, if this is the standard major Hollywood make-up artists have dropped to then what the heck, I’m going to kick start Pattison’s career with my energy legs by suggesting a few roles I think he would be perfect to play now that physical likeness is no longer an issue.

Robert Pattison in . . .
Marilyn Monr-ohhhh
‘From porn star to scantily clad movie star, the life and death of Marilyn Monroe’

Robert Pattison and an all star cast in . . .
Obama-Rama
‘The musical adaptation of Barack Obama’s heart warming campaign to be the first nig- (cough) black President’



Robert Pattison in . . .
The Einstein Factor
‘For Albert, life just didn’t always add up’

Robert Pattison features in . . .
Opps, I did it Again
‘They took away her kids. They took away her success. And now, they’re trying to take away her cigarettes. Britney Spears is back . . .with a vengeance’


Robert Pattison stars in . . .
Lil Kim, Big City
‘The adventures of Kim Jong il’

**Little Ashes is directed by British filmmaker Paul Morrison and will be released in Australia in 2009.

Twilight at the end of the tunnel

Why hello there! Yes I know you’re all thinking I died due to the fact I haven’t updated my beloved blog in over three weeks but alas - I’m alive. I won’t bore you with an account of how crazy things have been in the recent month but I will say this: there IS a vortex to another dimension behind my fridge and it can be quite time consuming trying to navigate your way back to through the various parallel universes. Moving on…..October has been a month packed full of Twilight news with obsessed fans counting down the days until the film is released on November 21 in the states and December 11 in Australia. Reviews are soon to be flying in left, right and centre so here are the four major Twilight updates that have caught my attention in the past month.

New Mooning
It seems investors are pretty darn certain the Twilight film is going to be a colossal success as they’ve already given the sequel New Moon the green light. This is a pretty ballsy move given current economic turmoil but alas the financing is secured and the early stages of pre-production are underway. Personally, in the series of novels nothing beats the original Twilight book as I love getting to meet the original characters and watching their relationships form. BUT New Moon is brilliant in its own way and many of the events in this book are some of my favourite to happen in the entire Twilight series. As far as scale goes New Moon is bigger, bolder and brighter with more action and adventure. Needless to say the blogging on New Moon starts now.

Trailer Trash
The above headline is a lie, the new Twilight trailer is not trash it’s just I couldn’t think of anything else catchy. Or trashy. Whatever. Like I said, Summit Entertainment posted the final trailer for the film online two weeks ago and already its had a few million hits. Not only is it extended length it features never before seen clips and offers audiences a better look at the beloved Cullen family. You can view it here at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxjNDE2fMjI

They do the Monster Mash
The official soundtrack to the Twilight film is due to be released in five days and Stephenie Meyer posted the full track listing on her web page last week. Meyer is a mad music buff and Twilight fans will be familiar with some of her favourite bands which she thanks on the acknowledgments page at the start of every novel. She also wrote and directed her first video clip for Jack’s Mannequin in September so there has been a fair amount of anticipation amongst fans as to who and what will be on the soundtrack. I’ve already downloaded majority of the songs to spare myself the pack of tweens I will no doubt have to wrestle in a Sony store to purchase the soundtrack. From first listen I’m quite impressed with the tracks selected and I think they fit the dark, dramatic tone of the film perfectly. I’m keen to see how the songs are utilised throughout the movie AND desperate to hear Carter Burwell’s version of Bella’s Lullaby. Here is the track listing:
1. Muse — Supermassive Black Hole
2. Paramore — Decode
3. The Black Ghosts — Full Moon
4. Linkin Park — Leave Out All The Rest
5. MuteMath — Spotlight (Twilight Mix)
6. Perry Farrell — Go All The Way (Into The Twilight)
7. Collective Soul — Tremble For My Beloved
8. Paramore — I Caught Myself
9. Blue Foundation — Eyes On Fire
10. Rob Pattinson — Never Think
11. Iron & Wine — Flightless Bird, American Mouth
12. Carter Burwell — Bella's Lullaby

Picture perrrrrrfect
To wrap up my Twilight rant there’s nothing better than treating your eyes to the latest batch of images from the film. These were posted online today at EW Entertainment and include photos from some of the key scenes in the movie. Needless to say these shots made me more excited than Helen Clarke in an all girls school! Enjoy.

World of Payne

So, the count down for the new Mark Wahlberg film is over. I would like to think I wasn't the only one crossing off days on the calendar but, odds are, I probably am. His latest flick Max Payne opens globally tomorrow (let me here you say `whoop whoop'). Max Payne news has featured heavily on this blog so I'm not going to bore you by going over the same ol' stuff. What I will say is I'm a little heartbroken at two early reviews for the film which have both given it one star out of five. One star! The fact Wahlberg is in the movie means it should automatically get two stars! The reviews appeared in the Sunday Mail and Empire Magazine online and in summary said the film maintains the low-standard of video game to film adaptions. My dream of an awesome action movie hasn't been completley shattered (yet) with majority of critics only being able to view the film tomorrow. A general consensus on Rotten Tomatoes hasn't been calculated due to no reviews being posted....so there's still hope! Just quietly I'll be holding my breath until I catch the wise words of Margaret Pomeranz and David Stratton on ABC tonight for At The Movies (10.05pm). Honestly though, if they give it one star too I might have to get all Max Payne on their arse.

Fang you very much Sweden

I came across a trailer for this creepy Swedish film called `Let The Right One In’ and thought it was worth a look. It premiered in Australia at the Melbourne International Film Festival on August 1 and received a pretty super-awesome response. Given the fact `Let The Right One In’ is in Swedish with English subtitles it’s likely to get a limited release throughout the rest of the country (so make you keep look out for it at your local Art House Cinema). Set in Stockholm suburb of Blackberg in 1982 the film tells the story of Oskar, a lonely 12-year old who is bullied at school and dreams of revenge. One day he meets a peculiar girl named Eli who he later discovers is a vampire. You can view the trailer here:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=EaK-lx5XMWQ
Considering horror is one of my favourite genres, particularly monster-based films, I was surprised at how director Tomas Alfredson seems to taking a different path on a well trodden track. Usually the vampire is associated with lust and sexual desire so the concept of a child-vampire is very interesting. And talk about creepy! This trailer gave me more shivers than the time I was locked in an industrial freezer for two hours . . . but that’s another story. Hopefully with the swish trailer a few thousand people from main stream audiences might be drawn to this flick too.

Two Crowes with one stone

If you think the bro-mance between Tim Burton and Johnny Depp is only two more collaborations away from a full on Brokeback Mountain moment, then Ridley Scott and Russel Crowe must be feeling each other up in the metaphorical back seat. On the press trail for their latest project Body Of Lies, a political thriller also starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Scott revealed he wants Crowe to play two major characters in his adaptation of Robin Hood. No, you didn’t just drink the Kool-Aid. Ridley Scott ACTUALLY wants Crowe in a dual role as both Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Speaking to MTV's Movie Blog, Scott said:
"He's playing both. [Crowe's dual roles would be] "a good old clever adjustment of characters. One becomes the other. It changes."
The film will be called Nottingham and to be frank, I can’t picture Crowe playing either roles let alone both. Okay, I can maybe see him as the Sheriff but I don’t think anyone wants to see the Crowe-man in tights. Ever.

Below: A very possible version of what Crowe could look like as Robin Hood. Anyone smell an Oscar?

Alice in Burtonland

I would doubt there’s anyone in the whole wide world who hasn’t heard about Tim Burton’s adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. Regardless I thought a quick run down can’t hurt. The film started shooting last week in Cornwall, England and 18-year old Aussie actress Mia Wasikowska is in the lead role of Alice. Wasikowska has been pretty much plucked from obscurity after only minor roles in a handful of small budget films including one of my personal favourites; Suburban Mayhem. After the success of The Nightmare Before Christmas 3D, Disney have agreed to let Burton release this film in Digital Disney 3D too. The only other news to escape to the media is Burton-bosom buddy Johnny Depp will be playing the mad hatter. Well dah! It wouldn’t be a Tim Burton film if Depp wasn’t in it. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland has always been one of the darkest children’s stories and my blood is bubbling with excitement to see Burton’s Gothic take. All other cast and set details are unknown at this stage and kudos to the film crew for keeping everything hush hush. The project is set for release on March 5, 2010 in the US, later in Oz.