Best Movies of All Time + [Ryan Willard]

EVIL WEED

EVIL WEED
Not Rated

"You need to come with me this very instant!"
-- Tinny

Evil Weed is a low-budget 2009 horror film directed by David Wexler that centers around three young couples who suffer through a strange and terrible ordeal while spending time at a vacation home in the Hamptons. Sisters Emily (Brianna Barnes) and Danielle (Genevieve Hudson-Price) take their boyfriends - Murph (Ryan Willard) and aptly-named "Boyfriend" (Nick Weil) - on a weekend vacation and bring along long-time friends Dan (Bekim Trenova) and Tinny (Cynthia LaForte). While relaxing and enjoying their time together, Danielle and her boyfriend partake in some extra-strong marijuana, but something isn't completely right about it. They both soon start to feel nauseous and have weird reactions to the weed. After some time, they both turn into werewolf-like creatures that begin to hunt and kill the people around them. The rest of the group has to do what they can to survive and avoid the contagious bite of these beasts.

If you're currently scratching your head wondering exactly what I'm rambling about, then you're in the perfect state of mind to read this particular review. I decided to give the NetFlix Instant Watch archives a gander and found Evil Weed hidden a few pages back under "B-Movie Horror." Because it's a short film - it tops out at seventy minutes - and because it seemed incredibly ridiculous, I figured I'd give it a shot, hoping for some "so bad, it's good" entertainment. Sadly, there isn't much entertainment to go around as it's difficult to find anything even to laugh at during this one.

The screenplay itself is nearly non-existent. We're shown the weed in the opening scenes, and the characters use it relatively soon afterward, but it takes another forty minutes or so for any of the effects to take place. It's an incredibly slow-moving film that finds every possible opportunity to bore you. Honestly, there's really nothing that happens. Yeah, a couple people get mauled towards the end, but it takes so long to get to that point that any audience would have shut their minds off long before.

The acting itself isn't the worst I've ever seen in a film, but it does come rather close. It's not that there's one actor going above and beyond in their terrible-ness; rather, there's a uniform level of badness present with the acting in Evil Weed that I can't even begin to describe.

I think my biggest issue with the film, however, was the cinematography. I couldn't quite tell whether they used a cheap hand-held camera or took a camera built into a laptop because the whole film felt like something straight off YouTube. It was a little off-putting because the film's visual quality was so cheap that I had a difficult time keeping my eyesight trained on the television screen. So if you do plan to watch Evil Weed, be forewarned of that particular problem.

Overall, there really isn't much good to come out of watching this film. I had hoped for a few good laughs along the way, but I think I only chuckled once. Evil Weed is just a bad movie, the type that you immediately wish you could erase from your memory. Proceed with caution.

Movie Review Summary
Grade: F
2 Thumbs Down

Rankings
Worst All-Time - #4